World of Change

It is funny how quickly things change. Over the past month, I have planned a wedding...Actually Kristina planned most of it, went out for a job interview in HOT Arizona, and am leaving a ministry in which I couldn't be more proud of where we took it. Actually that is the last few weeks.

The last couple days have left me thinking of the pain of not seeing life go the I had planned. 3 years ago I left a good ministry job to plant a church that never happened. The last three years have left me dealing with the pain of what I saw, and maybe at times, still see as failure. When I arrived in Arizona, I was hit with the reality of the situation. There was no a good possibility (or opportunity) to get back into ministry. I found myself afraid...Afraid that there was the possibility of that I would have to take a step of faith that could lead me down the wrong road. Contemplating this reality over the last few days have brought me to a point, where I see that it is my fear that is holding me back. My fear is getting in the way of me taking hold of my call to be a pastor.

This realization leaves me with a restored confidence and faith that maybe I need to walk away from my fear and trust that where I am is where God will want me to be. That even if I don't make the perfect choice, I can make a good choice leading me to a place where God can use me to bring glory to his kingdom, allowing his will to be done through my life.

These last few weeks have also seen more of a transformation in my ministry philosophy. I want to be apart of a ministry where I can teach others to radically love their community and take responsibility for their world. Part of the problem is learning how to do this better myself. A large part of me can't wait to get settle in the next phase of my life so that I can begin to practice some of this radical love within a community, or city, where I know I will be for a while. As for now maybe God will let me take some small steps in this area so that I can be prepared for what is next. For more on this read "The Irresistible Revolution" by Shane Claiborne